A Good Death

What is a good death? We talk about a good life? We see the optimistic logo of “Life is Good” on a wide variety of apparel and other items. We smile when we see the stick figure man or his stick figure relatives or friends doing or being that which gives them pleasure. But is a “good death” anything similar? As a ministry developer in formation and service, I have been asking myself this very question. My answer? A resounding “No.”

Yet, despite my “no,” I also have a sense of what a “good death” is. I also see one of my fundamental roles as a ministry developer to be a companion to others experiencing a death as we seek to make it a “good death.” Parishes, ministries, and ministers must engage with death—dance with death--when we acknowledge that we no longer should continue that which no longer brings energy for the people involved. In many ways, we “dance” with death when we engage in making changes of any sort—good or bad—for they involve a grief for what was and what may no longer be.

Perhaps one of the most challenging, yet compelling and beautiful, activities in which we ministry developers engage is that of pastoring others through a change that leads to a good death. We are called to demonstrate that we care, that we will be there as a companion each step along the way, and that we join them in grieving that loss. But the other important part of the journey along the path to and through a “good death” is to assist others in seeing the new birth that comes out of a good death. A good death always leads to a new birth of sorts, for we must till the seeds of death back into the soil and nurture them for them to spring forward into that new birth.

We also must be patient. We must nurture, watch, and sometimes just wait for the new birth to sprout. We then must repeat the process once again.

Yes. That is one of the fundamental tasks of being a ministry developer—being the loyal, patient, caring companion to help open eyes and hearts to what is before and grieve with others the good death from which the new birth may emerge.

Theresa+

Team Ministry on the “Little Screen”

I admit to being an avid fan of a select group of police action television shows. By and large, my “select” list consists of shows in which women are portrayed as competent leaders and colleagues alongside their male counterparts. I am not referring to the shows that portray men as idiots (e.g., King and Maxwell) or those with a male-female team where there is a romantic element (e.g., Hart to Hart). Those dynamics detract from what interests me, and that is: team work. In short, I am attracted to shows that demonstrate the essence of a team across genders, cultures, etc.

Ever watch the TNT show, Major Crimes? Two members of the TV-created Major Crimes Division of Los Angeles are female—the captain and one of the team of detectives. The female supervisor delegates authority to the team members according to their respective strengths. She knows their gifts and skills; she realizes that a team is made stronger through the sharing and growth of members’ individual strengths. She also understands that delegating responsibilities and authority, as well as acknowledging another’s gifts, does not detract from her own. Instead, it makes for a stronger and more effective team. It also avoids burn-out by the leader and fosters trust in all members.

How about Flashpoint? I know! I admit it! One of my early attractions to the show was the fact that the team included a petite woman who more than “carries her own weight” in performing as a member of the Toronto Strategic Response Unit. But with each show I am drawn into the excitement of seeing the team members operate as a team. If a member is unarmed or assuming the role of negotiator in a volatile situation, that member’s life literally depends on the judgment and skills of the other members of the team.

There is no territorial rivalry here. Each knows what he or she is assigned to do, but they are trained to anticipate (and think like) each other and work as a team, which is very different from working as a committee. Further, knowing the emotional toil of being an SRU member, each cares for each other and makes sure that they support each other emotionally so that the work does not unduly impact their personal and family lives.

Team ministry within the Church is much the same. It is not work by committee. It is not a pyramid of bosses with lesser and lesser authority as one works down the strata. It is the coming together of gifted persons who are encouraged to share their gifts (and authority) for the sake of the team. They acknowledge their individual gifts and “growing edges;” the primary concern is achieving the team’s missions—the work of the Church—not the glorification of self. Further, they understand the emotional and physical toil of ministry on the individual ministers and offer needed support to each other the best that they can.

Hmm. Who would have ever expected it?! In this media-dominated world that we live in, we can look to the “little screen” for models of team ministry.

Theresa

More Reflections on Being Rural, attending the UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW)

The gears of my brain just keep a-runnin' as I continue to attend parallel sessions as an Appalachian member of the Anglican Women's Empowerment (AWE) delegation, meeting still more women living into their callings to serve and empower their sisters. This week has been filled with boomerang days, as I heard repeated expressions of fear, joy and courage.

A woman working with rural women across the globe, and based in Geneva, shared on Sunday her "three Cs" of what the media should highlight instead of the three Ss of sex, scandal, and more sports: courage, creativity and compassion/collaboration.  I reflect on the face that these three Cs continued to weave through many of the talks today, as I heard other CSW delegates speak of their creative approaches to resolving concerns when the routes available to men were not options.

The well-crafted art of invisibility is critical to what so many of us have done and many of my sisters continue to do to effect change. Listen unnoticed. Create cooperative partnerships. Act. The ideas that bring about results may be unexpected by our urban sisters and brothers, but blossom into effective actions when unveiled by my rural sisters. And we unveil them with unknown courage--courage that perhaps was not self-evident except in retrospect as we think back and wonder how in the world we did X or Y.

I keep hearing references to common thoughts, common skills, common abilities--ones learned without our being aware and apparently without attracting attention by others. These are easily identified by my "middle aged" sisters as being the means by which we broke down our own barriers. The real question for our younger sisters and daughters is: How do we assist them in doing the same but without having to be invisible or courageous? Perhaps I will learn that as well over the remainder of my week here at the CSW sessions?!

Theresa

Rural Life and Ministry—the Global View

The 56^th session of the Commission on the Status of Women officially opened Monday, Feb. 27, after several days of orientations, meetings and conversations across the aisles and globe. One day into the official session, it remains daunting to imagine the variety of experiences and languages involved.  

Perhaps the most astounding thing for me thus far, however, is the realization that the official languages may vary from country to country but the native language of rural life and ministry spans across the globe with astonishing similarities. The impact of NIMBY (not in my backyard) strikes so many of us across the developed and developing world. Further, the value of rural life in terms of tradition, family and community is a common song of joy for so many of us attending the session.

The sacrifice of material wealth is more than offset by the choice—yes the choice—to live where the pace is slower, the family is at the center of life, and the value of community remains intact. If only the NIMBY principle did not mean that those industries and practices that are the most devastating to the visual, mental and physical health of people were not always destined for rural locales. Not only are the rural locales the locations for nuclear plants, alternative energy testing, and the mining of energy sources that keep the world “running,” but we rural dwellers are also the most dependent on the products of these efforts, with limited access to public and lost-cost transportation. Not to mention the fact that it is our land, water and air that tends to be the most subject to violation by corporations .

But the humility and confident choice to choose the rural life ring through the songs of my sisters and brothers here at the CSW meetings, echoing much of what I hear and see through my sisters and brothers back home, in Western Maryland. Funny that I had to travel all the way to the United Nations to find myself “back home” with people just like me!

Theresa

Baptismal Ministry and Grassroots Empowerment

I write this from New York City, just a few blocks from the United Nations, in the midst of the 56^th session of the Commission on the Status of Women. I am one of the Anglican Women’s Empowerment delegates. Thousands of women and men have converged for this two-week session: listening, sharing, and learning about how to empower rural women across the globe. Such a hubbub to this rural woman who is accustomed to the quiet of the mountains and the slower pace of rural Maryland.

It truly is exciting to be in the midst of so many advocates – mostly sisters and some brothers  -- for the voice of women.  I listen to my sisters’ stories and join in singing our common melody of being encouraged by others who believed in us. I realize how much my international sisters’ stories parallel the baptismal ministry stories that I share and hear in Western Maryland or in the company of other missioners involved in team ministry.
 
As missioners, we seek to empower others. We seek to break down the mindset that ministry must radiate from an ordained leader. We seek to empower others to follow their callings to ministry -- the ministry of all the baptized. We each have a voice. We each have gifts. We are called to use those gifts as God intends. It is just a matter of listening to that voice,the story,and then having the strength and support to follow that call.

It strikes me how much this sounds similar to what I am seeing around me here at the CSW and AWE meetings: the stories of my sisters breaking down walls and following their calls to live into where God is calling each of them. Perhaps this mountain girl of Western Maryland is not that different from her sisters here at the CSW meetings and through AWE.

Theresa

Ministry Development Seeds

In my roles as a ministry developer and a vicar for two parishes, entering the gates to Lent, I find myself doubting my ability to provide good sacramental and pastoral care. Juggling multiple tasks has been in my personal and professional blood for many years. But, I find that I lose my “calming presence” in the midst of a juggling act, particularly with all of the extra juggling of multiple “hats” (or should I say stoles and chasubles) during this busy season. I know that I must be a good juggler and a marathon walker  during this period. Just thinking about it, however, can be a bit tiring.

On the other hand, I also am quite excited about the prospects of being at two churches, being present, being observant, just “being” with the people who make each of the churches “church.” I can focus on the pastoral visits and the sacramental needs of the parishes, while the congregation of ministers  are “doing” church all around me. With little effort, I now can immerse myself in being with them and actually seeing baptismal ministry all around me. I know that I will see it. In fact, I already do, but I know that I will REALLY see it these next seven weeks. I will see it blossom from slowly opening buds to full-fledged blossoms adorning the church, both inside and out. And I have faith that, like dandelion seeds, these blossoms will be sprouting increasing distances from the church doors.

Many of these ministers periodically express their concerns about me, with all of the demands on my time. So, I see in them pastoral care and hospitality ministry.

I see them leading and guiding Bible studies, so I see them building confidence in themselves and growing in their knowledge and their inquisitiveness.

I see them arranging for readers, and Eucharistic ministers, and altar preparers for the extra services. They are growing as parish and worship ministers.

A bud here; a blossom there; a leaf peaking out there. By Easter, I expect to see quite a bouquet of ministries and ministers springing forth to welcome the spring weather. And won’t that be a nice welcome to spring and Easter!? Truly a resurrection and new life in Christ and of the Church!

Theresa

The Living Stones Family Reunion

We have reached the end of our cluster presentations at the 2012 Living Stones Partnership meeting (see February 6, 2012 posting), asking other partners’ delegations to offer comments, encouragements, and critiques of our work, based on our case studies. What a helpful experience it was! We were fortunate that we were assigned to work with two very experienced partner diocese, and with skilled facilitators who were cutting-edge leaders in spreading the concept of ministers. Our ministers are not the ordained leaders but instead all four orders of ministers, each doing God's work. All of us living into our baptismal callings by God.

Our cluster group consisted of a neighboring partner—West Virginia. As a Virginia mountain native now calling Western Maryland home, I understood them and they understood me. Our other cluster partner was Rupert’s Land, a partner whose distance from us was solely in mileage; the three of us were simpatico. It was beautiful. Partners in name only; in fact, we are siblings and companions in Christ. Ready to lift up our sisters and brothers when confused, companioning them when apprehensive, and encouraging in authenticity. 

Our baptismal callings differ from individual to individual. Our baptismal gifts are specific to each individual. God always finds a way to put us and our ministerial gifts together in miraculous ways that startle and surprise. Seeing this in action at the Stones meeting was no different. The other coordinators in my cluster of three and I agreed to allow God to tell us what to bring to create our holy space; God did not disappoint.

God also inspired each cluster member to “ping pong” ideas across the tables with great affection, caring and encouragement.  As we shared what we “heard” from the other groups in discussing our 20-minute presentations, we repeatedly heard the support and encouragement and “aha” moments. We received guidance on growing the “living stones” of our ministries as well as reconstructing some other stones within our ministries. The exciting part is that none of us highlighted major excavation or the need for demolition. Just renovations to better highlight what is right and rework what might be dated or hampering growth.

We really are “living stones that are being used to build a spiritual house. [We are ]. . . a group of holy priests, and with the help of Jesus Christ [we] . . will offer sacrifices that please God. “ (1 Peter 2:5 CEV) We do not do this alone; we do it with Christ’s help.

Theresa

Ministry Development acts

I write this from the 2012 meeting of the Living Stones Partnership, a partnership of dioceses or other communities of faith involved in ministry development work within the context of the ministry of all baptized. This year, we are meeting at Circus Circus in Las Vegas, a fact that provokes smirks and giggles among most who hear of our destination, except from Stones veterans who know we will be too busy with meetings to notice where we are meeting. Inexpensive flights and room rates made it the superior location over several others we considered, having to find a new location when the Iowa Caucus dates were expected to overlap our meeting dates.

But in spite of the smirks and giggles, on further reflection, I realize that Circus Circus is not such an odd destination after all. In fact, it is strangely appropriate, as we think of the big top and the overlapping rings of simultaneous activity. Although the Stones meeting includes a partnership meeting, as well as worship and keynote presentations for the whole, the meetings in cluster format are the foci of the meeting. In clusters of four partners, partner delegations present case studies highlighting a situation for the other cluster members. All partner delegations and delegations from visiting or observing communities receive copies of these case studies, but only those within the same cluster are privy to the actual discussions and sharing within the cluster.

When not involved in cluster presentations, coordinators, bishops and other delegates seek colleagues from other delegations to catch up with each other and to share stories. Activity and energy flow throughout the hallways surrounding the various meetings and activities. It is a true circus of sounds, sights, and other senses as people minister to each other and share their ministry development concerns and celebrations. And much like the ancient fable about the blind men approaching the elephant and arriving at very different views of what animal they are touching, each delegation has a different vantage of ministry development and what works.

Yet, each of us approach the other in blindness, seeking information and guidance from others to determine how to improve or grow their ministries and ministers. We also walk a tightrope of love as we approach and question each other’s case studies. But in the end, we leave each annual meeting challenged, yet very aware of the safety ropes and nets that our colleagues from across the Stones membership offer each other. We also leave the meeting anxious to return home to share what we have seen and heard. We want to try out our newest skill.

Yes, ready or not Circus Circus, here we come!

Theresa